Olive shoots around my table

Do you enjoy your children?

As I write this I'm sitting in an ancient rectory about 1300 km away from my wife and children. The distance frees me a little from that constant, immediate worry about whether I'm doing the right thing for my kids. And if I'm perfectly honest with myself, it removes the little annoying things that they do, and allows me to reflect on God's grace in giving me those kids and the enjoyment they bring. What a round-about way of saying that I'm missing them!

I love listening to them play together. Most of the time they're pretty good – they cooperate in their games, finding room for everyone in the game. When they argue, I catch myself holding my breath: will they work it out for themselves, or will I need to intervene? (I love it when they work it out for themselves!)

I enjoy when we get the guitar out after dinner (if there's time), and the kids pester me for yet another Colin Buchanan song. Their favourite this month is an old favourite by the prolific songwriter “anon”, with the verse:

The butcher was cleaning the back of his shop
he stopped for a moment to lean on his mop
he sat on the slicing machine with a jerk
and found that he'd got all behind in his work

They are transfixed, and howl with laughter every time we sing it.

I love when they create performances for us. The crowning glory so far was when my daughters and four of their friends created a play for all the parents who were present. The six of us crowded into the darkened auditorium (one of their beds) to watch the stage (the other bed) and the grand performance (five kids whispering to each other about who had to start speaking, and my youngest daughter hiding under a blanket). Suddenly, the door burst open and my smiling, crawling year-old-son started laughing at having found us all sitting in the dark.

I enjoy when I cook a dinner for them that they really love, and they announce that it's going in the “winner dinner list”. I don't get that accolade very often.

I love when my boy won't let me leave his room at night until I've held his hand and prayed with him.

My kids aren't perfect. They are sinners, just like their Dad. There are many ways in which I fail them. But from my current vantage point I can see God's grace to me through them. The words of psalm 128 really resonate with me at the moment:

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,
who walks in his ways.
You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands;
you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
who fears the Lord.
The Lord bless you from Zion!
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
all the days of your life!
May you see your children's children!
Peace be upon Israel!

Does this psalm always reflect my feelings about my children and my family? No, of course not. I mess up, and feel guilty about how I parent. I am frequently unsure about how to deal fairly with my children day-to-day. And of course I don't know how my kids will end up. But there is such great hope in psalm 128 – do you see it?

“Blessed are all who fear the Lord”, and “Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord”.

If I fear the Lord – if I am in awe of Him and walk in His ways – I can trust Him with my children and my parenting. He deals with my parent sins at the cross (just like all my other sins). As I entrust myself to His care and to His way, I find I can prayerfully entrust my children to Him. As my relationship with Jesus grows closer, my anxieties about my children recede and I find I can enjoy them more.

This is my prayer for you (and me) this fathers day:

The Lord bless you from Zion!
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
all the days of your life!
May you see your children's children!
Peace be upon Israel!

Happy fathers day!