Husbands, love your wives...

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:25 

One of the best legacies that my Dad left me was his example of how he loved my Mum.  It wasn't that he was showy and romantic (at least, not that we saw).  It was that his love was a bedrock for their relationship, and consequently for our family.  He anticipated her needs and wants.  He brought her tea in bed in the morning.  He chipped in with the housework and cooking.  He didn't work all-hours, came home for dinners, spent weekends with us.  He remembered important dates, and celebrated them appropriately.  He remembered unimportant details (often concerning us kids), and so helped carry Mum's burdens.  He always respected her, always spoke kindly and lovingly to her, never bad-mouthed her or her family, and never, ever hit her.


I always felt safe at home (even when I didn't like some of the rules!), and I never felt the least possibility that our home life would change before I left to make a home of my own.  The grace of God and the good example of my Dad was so solid that I had trouble understanding some of the family struggles of my classmates.


My first full-time job as a lawyer was a real shock to me.  As a Legal Aid lawyer, I was meeting people whose families were built on quicksand, not bedrock.  Would Dad come home tonight?  Would there be money left after the pub and the pokies?  Would he be quiet, or drunk and violent?  Or else the questions would be of a different kind: Why did he leave?  Did I do something to drive him away?  Who was he anyway?


As I grow older, and see more of the world (and more of my community), I am incredibly grateful to my Dad.  I value his example of one man giving himself completely for one woman - and so building a safe place for his family.